Regrets

What do you do when
you decide at a late date
it just hasn’t been working out
and miles down the road
you realize it was SOUTH boulevard avenue and
not NORTH street freeway
you were looking for
and you are now wandering in some
unknown and probably dangerous neighborhood
where if the car’s front tires were to explode
nobody would stop to help you and most likely
AAA would refuse to come, but
at some point
you need to decide
whether or not you want to backtrack
to the place where you began
and start out again
this time with a more detailed map
or even the help of the GPS
or just stay home and spend
the rest of your time on earth
puttering around
in your empty rooms like a vacuum cleaner sucking
up the dirt
giving everyone who knows you
the unwanted gift of your too focused
attention
like eavesdroppers in coffee shops
or do you want to create some value
somehow
a rise in your stock’s price
your name in a book
a cure for something dreadful
a good deed or two.

Watch out!
Opportunities
are closing,
doors shutting and
locking
with a click
that isn’t very loud
but is certainly
very final.

Tiny Tim’s Wedding Entourage

Creatures of the night
rats under the shoehorns
the old fool who runs the corner grocery store
is selling raspberries
but he would be out of business
were it not for the rabbits who
push their noses into the corners
of the shop.
let that be a lesson to you
we were told
and let it be repeated for all to hear
that night comes but once a day
and the more the sun shines the less we understand
about fish or how to slice apricots
could you hold this for a minute while I
reach up here for the screwdriver
and without meaning to, achieve
an end. Cascading planets and astral bodies
conflict with the intelligence we have garnered
by observing the family customs of guinea pigs.
All will be well and all manner of things
will float to the surface
if the pot is kept at a low simmer
and lightly salted.  I couldn’t tell what
you meant by watching you breathe,
only underneath the bridge where the guardians stand at attention
did I have a clue as to what was going on.
And even then, it was startling and not enough.

Backyard Cat

The orange and white striped cat
who uses our backyard for a passage
from one unknowable starting point
to an equally unfathomable destination,
strolling insouciant
has no concept of private property.
I don’t approach him,
he isn’t mine,
but I like
to glance out the window and see him there.

my pet not my pet
my cat not my cat
who is unaware of me
no acknowledgement
lackadaisical
nonchalant
disinterested
unimpressible
like something in a shop that pleases me
but not striped, orange and supple and
so alive
a blue Chinese vase
for example
cold and glossy
the vase doesn’t care about me
anymore than the cat
but it decorates
embellishes
enhances
adorns
I smile when I see it
I don’t need to dust it

Could I be obsessed with cats—
a cat fixation?
But the cat has no interest in me.

I think you are like the orange cat.
You stroll by in my life
my love not my love
like the cat through a backyard
nearly unaware of me watching
oblivious
unconscious
but there on the fringe
on the perimeter
nodding marginally
to me as I gaze fondly
out the window at you.

Ocean Visions

Pirates dance in the moonlight,
planets glow like beacons in the sea and
distant stars tremble in the night.

Shivering harp strings invite
me repeating,  you are not free.
Pirates dance in the moonlight.

Elves are leaping in delight
in a pale fierce ecstasy.
Distant stars tremble in the night.

Crabs shuttle and weave in fright.
Seagulls, startled, quickly flee.
Pirates dance in the moonlight.

An old ship,  all its bones bleached white
whispers a mystery to me—
distant stars tremble in the night.

Sky and ocean—calm and bright—
as they once were meant to be.
The pirates are dancing in the moonlight
and the distant stars tremble in the night.

Rekindle: A Variation

Too late to start over again,
to sketch the dance, to hum the tune.
The violins fall silent when
the guests have left the room.

To sketch the dance, to hum the tune
takes energy I don’t possess.
The guests have left the room—
why,  I can’t even guess.

It takes energy I don’t possess
to put away the chairs.
Why, I can’t even guess,
and noone really cares.

To put away the chairs
I can’t complain
and noone really cares
to hear the old refrain.

I can’t complain.
The violins fall silent when
we hear the old refrain.
Too late to start over again.

Rekindle

It’s too late to start over again.
The ashes are cold in the fireplace.
I can’t even remember when
I could picture your face.

The ashes are cold in the fireplace.
I remember what you told me
although I can’t picture your face.
“There is no guarantee.”

I remember what you showed me
in the embers of the wood.
You gave me no guarantee.
I’m sure I understood.

In the embers of the wood
I saw your disguise.
I’m sure I understood
all the truth, all the lies.

I saw your disguise—
I can’t even remember when.
All the truth,  all the lies.
It’s too late to start over again.